I struggled with erectile dysfunction during my courtship with my wife.It didn't really settle down until we'd been married for a while.In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our marriage.
I strongly suspect that perseverance and a bit of luck were also major factors.
So I told her about my kink, fully expecting that it would result in the collapse of my marriage.
We didn't speak about it for a week, and then she calmly asked me if I wanted to do this with her instead of just watching porn about it. I have some physical ailments that can make sex painful.
We also have plenty of sex that isn't P in V, which takes the pressure off both of us.
I imagine you probably don't hear from folks like us because, in addition to being less likely, we don't have much to write in about. Counseling Helped Our Marriage Persist My sex life actually did get better after I married my partner.