Do you believe that you and your partner "honor[ed] God with your bodies" in doing what you did (1 Corinthians )?Whatever you did, did that interaction reflect of sexual immorality in what you did (Ephesians 5:3-5)?In Song of Songs, God has given us a holy and beautiful picture of a marital sexual relationship, and everyone seems to be having an excellent time.Even there, however, God is clear that sex is "Do not arouse or awaken love before it so desires." (Song of Songs 2:7).In 1 Corinthians 7:3 and following, Paul says once we are married, our bodies literally belong to our spouse; he also instructs spouses to meet one another's sexual needs and to be together regularly so as to protect ourselves from falling into ungodly lust and extramarital sexual activity.
The argument might run thus: "Of course I want to love to others. I just think I can show genuine affection (short of intercourse) with someone I clearly care about and still obey those passages." Fair enough. Let's say for the sake of argument that it is theoretically possible to engage in extramarital romantically oriented physical activity Think about the times you have engaged in any type of romantically oriented physical activity with someone not your spouse.Were you honest with the person about making a commitment to him or her before the Lord, or did you defraud or deceive that person in some way?Was your for doing what you did to build that person up spiritually — to make that person "more holy" (Ephesians -29)?As a good initial principle here, we should affirm that sex itself (and sexual activity in general) is not inherently negative or sinful.On the contrary, in the proper context, it is a kind and good gift of God.