Take all the time you need to learn the lessons offered by your relationship with her. We still work out at the same gym and I am actually fine with that.
In fact, knowing how good I physically look makes me feel good. She doesn't call, email, or text me anymore but does give me these deep stares when I see her... You're not torturing yourself-- your brain chemistry is torturing you.
It’s not completely over until , as in, you’ve adjusted and moved on. Related to a past blog post “Coping with Distress and Agony After a Break-up” I recently received a comment that illustrates this situation.
Why are you thrown for a loop by the news that she is dating others? This can take practice, but you can render these thoughts harmless if you can breathe deeply and think, By maintaining your objectivity for a minute or two, your physiology will calm down if already triggered, and eventually you’ll be able to let those thoughts pass through your brain without being triggered. But don't consider her rejection a dismissal of the chemistry you shared. Also, it’s not as if she stole the great chemistry you shared, and is now enjoying that same chemistry with another man.
Over time, you’ll deflate the power these thoughts hold over you, and devoid of any emotional load, they can simply fade away. Engage in fun, interesting, or relaxing activities that occupy your brain or at least put you in a calm or meditative state. The chemistry you shared with her was unique, and can’t be replicated-- by her by you-- with another.
And you're right, it's scary because it doesn't make sense and you don't want to feel this way, but you do, dang it!
Finally, staying away is helpful because it forces you to adjust to not having that person in your life, and helps you feel like you've moved on.