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I told myself that I was a feminist, despite subjecting myself to unfulfilling, emotionally damaging sexual experiences. *** I had a puppy-love relationship with my high school boyfriend, the kind you see in movies. I loved learning and made Phi Beta Kappa my junior year. But my internal life was characterized by paralyzing anxiety and depression. I drove myself to excessive exercising and near-anorexia. While there was a major gulf between my public self and my private one, the one thing that remained consistent were my politics.True feminists, I believed, not only wanted but also thrived on emotionless, non-committal sexual engagements.

Looks like us ladies are keeping them coming back for more.Entering college, I wasn’t scarred or inexperienced. He’d be poetic, invested, understand female sexual anatomy and have the perfect amount of facial scruff.Almost immediately, I buried this dream deep within my new plastic dorm drawers.I mean, do you really think every couple you see are together because they waited at least three dates to enter le bone zone? There are plenty of happily coupled people who 100 percent did the nasty on their first date — or even before it. Because I’m one of them, and guess what, I know plenty of other people who have, too. You wouldn’t want to go long-term with someone like that anyway.Are there creeps out there that will hold your comfort with your own sexuality against you? If they are freaked out or judgmental about your sexuality, you can bet they’ve got some other hang ups about women, too.

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