I found myself yawning on nights out, making excuses to leave after just one drink, and then not replying when a guy asked to see me again. What free time I did have had become too precious to spend it with these men I took little to no interest in. Asking if the Mediterranean Sea is the one next to Italy.
So to avoid getting roped into seeing someone I barely like, I’ve come up with a list of non negotiable dating dealbreakers.
Cute, handsome, sexy, a stud in the sack, a smokin’ ass, nipples that could cut glass, whatever …It’s important to note that Deal Breakers are not obvious during an initial encounter—they are subcutaneous characteristics or habits that you have to stumble upon after the initial fly-by assessment. Double negative CDB if she hasn’t even been on the route (e.g., “Have you done that route? “No, but I belayed my buddy on it and he definitely used that left crimp.”).For instance, you would never hang out with a guy who has a neatly groomed goatee or ask out a woman smoking a clove cigarette. Writes a Letter to the Editor to complain about the CDB list.Both are stacked with the misguided gumbies, uninformed hacks and clueless college-aged newbs that are most susceptible to shocking CDBs. Why do Canadians think anyone gives a shit that they are from Canada? I keep calling the INS and hopefully someday soon I’ll be able to get him and his goddamn Canadian flag-covered shit deported. My friend and Smith Rock super-local Ian Yurdin, has, over the years, helped me compile and refine the CDB list. Hollers non-native language encouragements such as “Allez,” “Venga” or “Jiyo” to partners. My friend Kolin is the worst Canadian-flag transgressor I have ever come across. Has (or ever had) a “Climbers for Kerry” sticker on their helmet. If you really need to kneebar to do a move on a warm-up, you aren’t warming up. To borrow a couple of lines from the Beastie Boys: “I didn’t ask to be part of your day, so please stop shouting in your phone, OK? Has a chalk bag that looks like a Starbucks coffee or Crown Royal bag.