You have no idea how hurtful it is to be married, or in a relationship, with someone like YOU! “ ♦ ays, weeks, months, go by where you go into hiding. Because you have a neurologically typical brain, heart, soul. We have been married almost 37 years and the stress and sacrifice of dealing 24/7 with a man/child has cost me my health, my job, college, and my sanity.
Yeah, get it tattooed on your forehead or whatever, I don’t care what you do, just stick with your own kind and stop destroying people!!! Staying away, staying silent, refusing to engage in any conversation that may possibly divulge a remnant of feeling, brought some semblance of peace. While dating, I thought he was just quirky and shy.
I was stunned at how Harry spoke with such control and was so friendly on the phone, as if nothing had happened. If someone told me they had Asperger’s now, I would run in the opposite direction.” ♦ e barely notices I am gone, is healthy and still calls me his wife, even though I am no longer. I, however, have lost all my friends and social support, have chronic illness and a nervous disorder and may well lose my house because of the financial ineptness of the person who was supposed to be my partner in a relationship.
He calls to ask me to do his laundry and never once said he missed me. The deprivation of basic human needs was NEVER on the table for the AS person, as the NT does the bulk of the basics in the home and oft times at work as well, and almost certainly with the children.
Yet the neurotypical (NT) person could be on the floor dying or in labour and the AS individual would walk over them to get to get to the computer. We are the housekeepers, house maintenance, child rearers and unpaid caregivers and Mental Health workers in the home.
Notice how I did not say ‘wife’ as that would mean there was a family, sharing dynamic involved, but the wife aspect was ink on a registration form for most of us.” ♦ have been married for 5 years to an aspie. I choose peace.” ♦ have been with my husband for 26 yrs.
It was like a slow leak that you don’t recognize until it is too late.My home is a bio-hazard because I am no longer physically able to clean, he is unwilling to clean and refuses to allow me to hire someone to help.If you are considering marriage with an Asburger’s person, my recommendation, after having lived it for these many years, is to RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!Five years of his aggression, lack of affection, constant criticism, put-downs, failure to even attempt to make the marriage work, even though I have begged him to come and see someone together. ” ♦ ast night, I sat on the edge of my bed and cried. It is so hard to describe what it feels like to be married to this. I asked for a sense of being accepted and validated by someone. Like not one person understood the exact nature of what I was experiencing, and this was so isolating. Raised two boys, ran the household, have taken on all the financial responsibilities of home loans car loans, everything.I realized the marriage I had worked so hard on, was over. I just hope I can hold out long enough not to top myself before he moves out. I would have stayed and worked it out, so I thought, but by the end of the last two years and suffering a nervous breakdown I could not do it. I told myself yesterday that if I could make myself more like him, then maybe it would be better. This sense of isolation is intolerable to me.” ♦ ecently I heard a sermon on loving your enemies. ” ♦ e lacked empathy, and he didn’t understand why I expected him to be able to anticipate needs or intuit things. I home schooled my boys and have been severely emotionally and verbally abused by my husband who has both adhd and aspergers.