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How appropriate would it be for the staff to come together and buy her a small gift as a token of our appreciation for her hard work?Would us all individually stating our thanks be more appropriate, and how would this best be communicated?Once they heard I was interested my old department, they said they’d post a job for me to apply for.I heard today they have approval to post the position and specifically to hire me into it, so they’re checking with HR to see if they even need to post it or if they can just direct hire and assign me.I found out that the director at the potential job is an old colleague/senior from when we used to work at the same institution a few years ago.I was debating whether I should reach out to her separately from the application process to talk to her about the job and let her know I’ve applied, especially since she would be the direct manager for this position.Based on their response, I wouldn’t be surprised if the parental interference was requested, but it just comes off so wildly unprofessional it’s really soured us on a person who was good but not great and turned them into a never-ever. That means that (a) the chances that they’ll respond well to this heads-up are significantly lower than with a polite/professional candidate, and (b) there’s no incentive here for you to go out of your way to try to do them a favor.

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She also goes out of her way to give us thoughtful (homemade and edible! Is it ever okay to praise her for turning things around?

We have explicitly developed and refined systems for guaranteeing physical health, dealing with consent, screening new attendees for fit, and so on. We have hundreds of members, and I’m very proud of the culture, the extreme respect that members feel for each other, and an atmosphere that everyone praises as being safe, consent-based, and accepting.

We now have several hundred members and if this were an activity that could be done above board, I would be trying to turn it into an actual business.

I decided to treat the group like a real organization.

I put systems in place to handle the administrative aspects of finding hosts, teaching hosts how to throw a good event, and handling event registration.

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