You have access to a teeny, tiny part of their lives and have constructed an elaborate theory based on jack and shit. My own experiences with romance, for lack of a better word, came to the forefront too.
I remember how one of those captain of the cheerleader squad and I were casual acquaintances, and the more time we spent together, she once thought it was funny as hell to sic her scuzzy asshole friends on me and make my life a living hell.
Sometimes it’s because they think they see the good in them and can fix them. And sometimes the shitty edgelords try to hide being shitty from people they’re trying to date.
I recalled how a similar field hockey star and straight A student dated a loser type for years, someone who couldn’t even spell cynical.
Instead she gave me her number and pretty much demanded this time that I call her that night. This wasn’t ignoring boundaries, this was someone who was into you and telling you – in pretty much no uncertain terms – that she wanted to invite you over for a hot cup of “fuck my brains out”. Little did I know that people were taking this as a challenge or whatever, and were not sincerely listening to me when I told them I wanted them to fuck off.
Even at that age I was skeeved right the fuck out not by her forwardness but just how she lacked any notion of boundaries, so I didn’t call her. Now, if you’re not into women who’re forward, cool. I couldn’t figure people out back then or the reason they did things so I just thought there were those who were naturally forward and those they preyed on, and if you didn’t want to be fucked with, you gave them a whole lot of shit to get them off your back. I was definitely the outcast in high school, that guy who was bullied relentlessly, so when these girls were interested in me, I just thought they were pitying me and I felt dirty for it.
Thus far, we still are at the point of my shrugging my shoulders and saying “… ” Because all we have is that don’t like these dudes.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized this kind of stuff was incredibly common.
Shit, I remember at one point I found her on Facebook years later out of curiosity, and she’s into that whole fixing the bad boy thing.
Or how some lacrosse girl in sophomore year started flirting with me and when I just kind of gave her the cold shoulder, she brazenly asked for my number.
I was taken a bit aback not just by her interest but how she seemed to be demanding it, and didn’t give it to her just because it made me uncomfortable.
Even in school, a few of my dear fellow male classmates liked how baby-faced I looked back then and groped me more than a few times.
I’m grateful that I was born a boy and not a girl, because I don’t want to imagine the kind of shit that would have happened to me otherwise.