One could argue that the BPD/NPD is embarrassed, but many of them appear to be quite shameless — and relentless.
More likely, her mask of super mom, single martyr mom or victim of my POS ex-husband mom has slipped and she has revealed which parent is the actual problem.
He wonders who she is, wonders whether she is anybody at all in particular.
He marvels at her personality, "for it was an art, and made up, like all others, of concessions, eliminations and embellishments; of lights judiciously thrown and shadows skillfully softened." I have a friend who was married to a woman with BPD and had a similar lament -- he never knew who she was, or if what she felt was real.
This intimacy can be misinterpreted for a lot, lot more than mere curiosity.Then, there’s another kind of parent, oftentimes a borderline and/or narcissistic parent, who seems to deliberately sabotage their children’s education and development by regularly changing schools, not providing their kids with the stability and consistency that facilitates learning and good school performance, feeding their kids a poor diet, encouraging prolonged dependence on mommy, competing with their kids for attention and a host of other supremely unhealthy behaviors.Why do many BPDs/NPDs and other personality disordered parents do this?The BPD is a lot of things, but most interesting to me is the skill with which she sheds one skin after another.For narcissists the mirror is always pointed at themselves, but for BPDs the mirror is always pointed at others -- allowing those around them to see exactly what they want to see.* For instance, under the title Meet the Marriage Magnet, this self-confessed chameleon explains why she believes she received nine marriage proposals: I was living like a trainee Stepford Wife Young and still experimenting with my sense of self, I was happy to pursue their pastimes, agree with their politics, even wear clothes they liked.***Besides, I find it easy to understand other points of view or problems and I get close to people quite quickly.