Charai, or the Japanese phrasing of such, is basically being called a “player.” While you can gently toss it aside (or defend yourself valiantly), chances are you already in the hole. Pointing to your condom stash when she mentions the “last train.” It can be simplified as bad manners, cultural ignorance, and poor social skills.
Coupled with recent shitshows by certain foreigners (Julien Blanc, anyone? The basic reality is that most foreigners only temporarily live in Japan, whether it’s for a week or a few years, there’s almost always an exit date. While you may be bound to accidentally coming across KY as a newcomer or tourist to Japan, you’ll still need to pick up on subtle and environmental cues to make sure you aren’t “that guy.” epic book (discount code: tokyonightowl) dives into the above issues and offers Japanese dating advice.
This isn’t to suggest that parental disapproval is the norm (although there are some horror stories), nor is it to say racism is rampant, but sometimes there are some old-fashioned attitudes in regards to relationships.
Add a lack of a common tongue into the mix, and foreigner’s chance of wooing a girl’s affection can get a bit complicated.
Or read peoples’ emotions where pretty much no-one wears their heart on their sleeve?
As Japanese girls tend to live with their families well into their 20s, ensuring she doesn’t “offend” her parents may rate higher on her priority list than the cute gaijin sending her Line stickers.
Short term, yes, you can bask in the beautiful neon rays of love hotels, but long term, the best you can do is to minimize the other red flags in this article.
At the same time, like folks in most other developed countries, Japanese people have been inundated with media from America and are avid travelers.
They are equally interested in Europe, and other parts of Asia like Taiwan, Thailand and Korea.