A situationship, he explained, was the catch-all term for those relationships sitting at the intersection of “hooking up” and “in a relationship.” It’s a scary precipice, teeter-tottering between “more than hooking up” and “very much dating,” where a simple “what are we” can throw the entire system out of balance. For all the boyfriends that were never really my boyfriend, past hookups and their mealy scars of things left unsaid, there was now a clever umbrella term: situationships.
And getting involved in a situationship might be the worst thing you can do to yourself.
Of course I wanted to move things along and make things official.
But fear that I might rock the boat and shatter the illusion that I was no longer Cool™ kept me silent.
We never spoke about it but for almost the entirety of our time together, I couldn't get over the fact that there was no label.
We did so many grown-up things that had previously only existed in the "things only couples do" category of my mind together, like picking out a mirror for his apartment, but I couldn't shake the fact that he wasn't introducing me as his girlfriend when we went out to dinner with his friends.
I didn't find out until I heard Tony*, 27, at a party lamenting about how his current relationship status was giving him anxiety.“Basically, we’re in this situationship where it’s like things either progress or they don’t.” A what?The hope of something more is always there, dangling like a carrot over every late night "U up? While legit relationships are built on clear communication and understanding, situationships are built on the absence of them. There's at least a layer of mutual respect in no-strings-attached hookups.You communicate what you can emotionally give — even if that's nothing.Kaitlyn*, 22, says she falls into them easily because she gets attached to people easily."Once that happens, I don't really want to find someone else," she explains.