If anyone understands the desire to get hammered to ease sexual anxiety, it's me.
However, it's a bad idea, and I've made the "getting wildly drunk pre-hookup" mistake enough times so you don't have to, sweet pea.
Your lesbian big sister (me) once lived in that ~hazy~ territory, and Hyper-sexual thoughts about girls began to flood my brain around the age of tender age of 12. I thought boys were sort of cute, too; I even had kissed a few of them and managed not to vomit. However, before you rush over to your local lesbian bar ready to experiment with the first cute dyke you lay your curious eyes upon, there are a few rules you must abide by (unless you want to burn bridges and get blacklisted from the community). The truth is, we are existing in a time where the likelihood of meeting an attractive human at a bar is almost impossible.
But you know how I really figured out my sexuality? Sometimes, the only way to figure out if you like something is to just try it out. I didn't know how I felt about oysters until I popped a salty, lush oyster in my mouth. And you want to find a girl to ~sexually experiment~ with in random bar? Maybe it works that way in lesbian pornos, but real life isn't a lesbian porno (sadly).
A bisexual woman (for example) might be interested in one of the following combinations of gender (the binary representation of gender is also a design decision, but I won’t discuss that in this post) and orientation: a lesbian woman, a straight man, a bisexual woman, or a bisexual man.
However, Match.com, e Harmony, Chemistry.com, Plenty of Fish, and Lavalife all share one common characteristic — one can only “seek” one gender at a time!
However, selecting “I am bisexual” also highlights the option “I do not want to be seen by straight people.” This option is presumably there to prevent accidentally coming out to anybody who is not queer, but may not be relevant to bisexuals, who may in fact be considering straight partners. Websites that exclude same-sex couples have gotten negative press, but as far as I know, nobody has raised a cry about the lack of support for bisexuality.
From personal experience, it might be more relevant to also provide an option “I do not want to be seen by people who are currently in a couple.” But, I don’t really want to get too far into implications for design here… This is an example of something called “bisexual erasure,” which is “the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, news media and other primary sources.” This is just another way of marginalizing people and is one that is practiced by both the heterosexual and the LGBT community.
There is a website targeted explicitly to bisexual people, called bicupid.com, but this site only allows you to search for other bisexual individuals (again, excluding half of the relevant combinations).It's a cute t-shirt, but it's hanging out in my dresser right now, not on my body.This way, you don't waste your own time or any other poor, lonely lesbian's time either. Don't make our lives harder by lying about your intentions.The worst thing a girl can do when she's sexually experimenting is lie and say she's had sex with a girl before. The first time I had sex with a girl, I told her I had done it several times.Meanwhile, I was terrible at going down on her (though now I'm a fucking rockstar), my palms were sweating like I had fallen ill with the plague and my body was trembling like a weak building amidst a California earthquake. Don't do what I did because it's very off-putting (and it's negative energy) to get caught up in a lie.