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Every male who is out of college should have at least thought this through. Initiation is not manipulating the situation so that while you're officially "asking her out" there's no actual risk of rejection or embarrassment. It means that you as the man take the first step, risk and all. 'Doesn't that mean that she can just tell me no and leave me twisting in the wind? But whatever the circumstances, her role is as responder, not initiator.

Once he determines he is ready to be married generally, and once he has found a particular woman he is interested in pursuing, our single man's next step is to "put some feelers out." He should talk to some of her friends, see if she's been asking about him, have one or two subtly suggestive conversations with her to see if she gives anything away.... In his Boundless article, "Real Men Risk Rejection," Michael Lawrence eloquently summarizes both the objections some men might raise to this idea, and, in my view, the ideal response: 'Wait a minute. As single men need to learn how to lead (whether they like it or not), single women need to learn what it is to let a man assume spiritual leadership in the relationship — and to respond to that leadership.

As I mentioned, he should not do this until he is "ready" to marry.

I mentioned the woman's father or family because until the second half of the 20th century, that's largely how it was done. All singles who profess Christ and aspire to marriage — even as a possibility — have this responsibility (even outside this area of life, we should all be trying to grow in Christ). If you're already sure of that basic answer, are you a growing and mature Christian?Are you generally humble and teachable, and do you respect authority?As a quick aside, if you are a single man and you would not describe yourself as ready to be married within a year, think about why that is.I mention this for two reasons: 1) Scripture seems not just to encourage, but to assume that part of the growth into biblical manhood is to seek marriage, so this is a biblical goal; and 2) easily the biggest complaint that I and others who advocate this approach get from godly Christian women is that .

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