Even if all that happened was a no-strings fling, I was still more interested in what they were like as people – did they have ambition? Well, it turns out there is a whole other layer of disappointment that someone in my position has to deal with.
First up, there was the guy who told me he didn’t really like women with children and it annoyed him that there were so many mums on dating sites – even though I had written it clearly on my profile!
Their comments made me feel that my desire for dating and sex meant I wasn’t measuring up as a mum in some way.
Things with Jack unfortunately fizzled out after a year or so – he was having a second youth of constant holidays and weekend breaks that I just couldn’t join in on, as much as I loved his approach to life.
In fact, I know I will meet someone special one day.
Someone who understands that being a mum will always come first, but that I also want and deserve an exciting social and sex life as much as anyone who doesn’t have kids.
Gradually I introduced him to Josh, and I also felt like I could trust him with my post-baby body.
That’s another part of hook-ups I’ve found difficult – someone who isn’t the father of my child (and therefore has no obligation to be kind) seeing my body.