With a few exceptions, Asian men on screen have been small, sneaky and threatening — or spineless, emasculated wimps, or incompetents who may well be technically proficient in martial arts, but impotent when faced with white man’s superior strength or firepower. Even today, Asian American men complain that action heroes such as Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan rarely get the girl.
As Leong, the author and UCLA professor put it: “Asian men can kick butt, but they can’t have a kiss.” It gets a little more personal in blogs, such as posts titled Us Bitter, Bitter Asian Men or Sucks to be an Asian male. I’ve had Chinese guys refuse me because they felt, as a traditional man, they could never see themselves married to a foreign girl.
Like some other black women I've debated with, I would press her for empirical data and statistics to at least substantiate or validate her fears, of which she supplied none. Meanwhile, she was within a sphere of influence that had at least a dozen healthy Black marriages (with dark-skinned women, no less), but yet, her major concern was the perceived extinction of black females. Although the relationship with that particular woman didn't last, I can't help but think about how my dating choices invokes the issues of other black women.
I've confronted this subject with many Black women, and it seems as if the feeling of betrayal and rejection is only toward the Black men of a particular soci-economic status. For some, it's not enough that I am attracted to her for her intellect and values.
It happened for me — and a growing number of other women, including bloggers such as the Local Dialect, The Downtown Diner, and Wo Ai Ni.
On occasion, it even creeps into the news, like this story.
She'd confessed to me that she had always and only been attracted to black men.
She was interesting, intelligent, funny, had similar values, and compassionate.
Average Chinese men tend not to earn big salaries in China, unless they are, for example, bosses, high-powered execs, or an in-demand talent. I met one young lady and we clicked from the start. " When I became single again, I opened myself up to even more options; up to and including white women. The biggest shadow that I could never box was the inherent self-righteous idea that I was somehow "betraying" my mother and grandmother by dating this white woman. I can't tell you how often dating her dredged up so much conflict within me, because I couldn't help but to notice the stares and glances from Black women.