I make it a policy not to give my friends relationship advice unless they explicitly ask for it (and a lot of the time they won’t because they know I’ll hit them with the truth and they would rather stay in denial-ville).
Also, my friends sometimes get mad at me for not giving them the answers they want so in order to keep the peace, I will stay mum until things get dire.
You don’t often see a woman plotting ways to sleep with many men and wiggle out of any sort of commitment, or a man trying to figure out how to get a girl to just commit and want only him.
Just as there is a stigma against women who sleep with a lot of men, there is a stigma against men who are super into commitment and invest way too soon.
There will be some women who will argue with this fact, and counter by saying they know tons of women who enjoy casual sex and lots of men who are yearning for commitment.
Yes, there are people like this, but I’m speaking about the rule, not the exceptions.
You can blame it on biology and a man’s innate need to spread his seed, or on today’s culture which deems men who sleep with lots of women studs (and women who sleep with lots of men sluts), but it’s just the way it is.
That’s not to say men don’t want commitment, they do, it’s just not the driving force behind their behavior, getting a lot of sex is.
But even still, I told her flat out that she slept with him too soon. The guy my friend was dating never really invested in her.
It was a pretty open and shut case, probably one of the easiest relationship questions brought to me. Yeah, he was attracted and somewhat interested, but after sex was in the mix, he lost interest in pursuing things further.
I’ve dated guys like that, the ones who were ready to marry me on the first date, and I wasn’t flattered…I was freaked out.
The truth is, deciding when to sleep with a guy is important and will have an impact on your relationship. No girl has ever lost interest in a guy because he slept with her on the first date while guys lose interest in girls all the time for giving it up too soon.