I decided to be nothing like my mother and to raise my kids without chores, and with freedom to relax, watch television, play sports, to be happy, and to know I love them. They don't have to do laundry or make dinner or set or clear the table or even make their beds and if a guest comes over and says to one "You dropped that, why don't you pick it up? " or say "It's the maid's job" and they completely embarrass me. All I wanted was for the kids to be happy and know I love them and to love me. I'm at my wits end and I'm screaming at them almost as much as my mother screamed at me. And there is a big difference between a list of age-appropriate chores spread out among your children and a Cinderella-like existence. Another way is through the demonstration of our belief in their capabilities. – Emuna Please check out Emuna’s new book A Diamond for Your Daughter – A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Shidduchim Effectively, available through Judaica Press Emuna Braverman has a law degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters in in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University.
I play with them every day after work (I'm an accountant with long hours), and I take them to amusement parks, movies, and sports events every weekend except for Shabbat, when I take them to synagogue and to friends and invite their friends to us. Sure, their happiness comes when everything is perfect (read: exactly as they wanted and not one tiny bit different) but otherwise they are always angry at me, their dad, or at each other. They are rude and they never, and I mean never, listen to me or their father. This summer I took them to California for two weeks and to Disney Land and other nearby attractions for five days of the trip. One of the ways our children know they are loved is because of the guidelines and parameters we establish for them. They can take care of themselves in many ways and we can help them gain confidence with each progressive step. She lives with her husband and nine children in Los Angeles where they both work for Aish Ha Torah.
He should also take turns cooking with an emphasis on healthy meals.And, if the wife does not make the effort to "shape up" -- she is sending the message that she does not care about being physically desirable to her husband!Given that, I think it important to point out:(1) It is likely that at this point, the wife will need to work with a professional of some sort (e.g., a nutritionist, psychologist who specializes in eating issues, etc.).(2) It will require REAL effort to do this.She is already uncomfortable about (and very aware of) her weight gain. This preserves a sense of mystery and excitement and takes the light off (literally) our physical flaws. While we can’t always look our best (pregnancy, nausea, screaming babies, screaming adolescents, screaming singles all take a toll! We may find it easier to cook and deal with babies who are spitting up while wearing a robe or old shirt, but that is not the way to present ourselves to our husbands.I’m sure you have some you’d rather she not see, although perhaps she is more forgiving… We may walk in from work and immediately want to change into our ratty old comfy clothes. They need to believe they can make it on their own.