In four years of working with offenders, I have seen relationships survive prison but I have seen many more fall apart.If I had known that he was going to be arrested a month after our wedding (or at any point), I wouldn’t have married him. Less than nine months after he was arrested, and eleven months after we were married, my husband was sentenced to prison.I stood up in front of our friends and family and pledged myself to my husband for life and never allowed myself to believe that divorce was ever an option.When I wrote those vows, I didn’t realize how quickly those big challenges would come or how hard it would really be to face them. You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here.In mine, I didn’t say: “I take you for better or for worse,” but instead said: “We will confront challenges head on and we will overcome them as a team — big challenges, little challenges, difficult or easy,” and I meant it.
When we were in counseling we explored why I stayed with him after his arrest.
He was originally a six-hour round trip drive away.
In his current facility, he is only 45 minutes away and can have four visits weekly for three hours at a time. The visiting rooms don’t have glass booths, but instead resemble school cafeterias.
I knew that he had a prescription drug problem but had been clean for over three years (he got clean about six months before we started dating) and I thought he was still clean. I was livid that he didn’t come to me for help, but he said he was worried I would leave him because three things I don’t tolerate are abuse, cheating, and drugs.
I was a criminal justice professional (I lost my job because of my husband’s arrest and conviction) and have a Master’s degree in criminal behavior.